Back to Basics

The Basics. Why I started this blog in the first place.

To share my photos. To share my work, and hopefully create some art along the way.
I didn’t think that art was something that was created until it was finished, and then you realized it was art–you didn’t set out to create a meaningful piece, it just came about as you worked at it consistently.

As with most things, it morphed, and changed, and grew into…something that I wasn’t even sure of. A short six years ago, we were told to “brand” ourselves, to give people something more to come back to other than photos, to put ourselves out there and dig deep into our psyche to write informative but personal but not too crazy but eclectic but funny but general but interesting posts. Every week. So I did partake.

Ugh, boy, did that make a trap for me.

I started in with the writing, and then the photos I took during the week, and then trying to coordinate it all together, all while showing somewhat of a portfolio…it all became consuming and overwhelming and…blogging is supposed to be fun, right?

I’m supposed to be writing and showcasing my personality and growing my photography business, where did I go wrong? I’ve got a few ideas:
* I couldn’t pick a niche
* I tried to tie everything in with photography
* I let the process become too detailed
* I felt the need to address every detail
* I felt the need to share, share, and share some more
* I followed business models that weren’t a good fit for me
* I let others make me feel badly about my work
* I let others make me feel that I wasn’t doing enough
* I let others make me feel that I hadn’t accomplished enough
* I became consumed and in turn, frustrated
* I constantly compared myself to other photographers/bloggers who had completely different lifestyles from me (could write like 8 posts on this…)

So what are you supposed to do when you are caught in this spider web (gross) of all consuming fire of needs to fulfil and you’re drowning in your unfulfilled dreams, your bullying industry peers, your relationship, your tiny children and their education and needs, your self care, your extra baby weight, your midnight ice cream cravings, your household tasks, and your proofs that are due in one week? DUH! You have a nervous breakdown. A nervous breakdown is like a pack of wild animals who haven’t been fed in a month, in a tornado of saurkraut vomit, taking place in a bayou, on the top of the Empire State, without even a blade of grass to cling to.

You don’t want to go through one without a best friend who will keep you alive for a week while you are having problems doing basic things like breathing. She’ll aslo try to cheer you up by taking you to Hershey Park and getting you chocolate and wine. She’s awesome. She is super hard to live without.

In short, if you’re good with dates and like math [12/13, 1/14] you can deduce that I dropped blogging from my to-do-list. And when I say dropped it, I mean dropped it like a hot fucking potato. What did my portfolio or my online presence matter if my personal life was on the back burner like it was? I had this thing completely backwards.

Without going into an insane amount of details (privacy, time, my fingers would fall off from typing so much, ect!) it’s taken me a long yet steady road to get back on my feet. I’m happily on my feet, and back to doing something I once loved, but I will be more careful now. You will not see weekly posts. You will not see something written on set days, on the hour. This will be random. Not because it’s good for business, because I know statistically “it’s not” but, because it’s good for my mental state, my life, and my family, and that is the most important aspect to regard.

I have, since these life-changing events happened, accumulated a few posts I want to share. I’ve shot some sweet weddings that I’d love to show off, and I really enjoyed spending the day with these awesome couples. These will be coming up as I dip my toes back into the water of blogging, carefully keeping an eye out for the undertoe of consuming waves.

More updates to come! More study posts, prayer posts, weddings, more photos, but…all at random with no planning and no pressure.

macarons

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4 thoughts on “Back to Basics

  1. Love this! I have been so burned out blogging that I barely touch it these days, however I just started a new photography blog and am basically on the same schedule as you. Just random posts about whatever and whenever.

    As a photographer it is hard not to compare and become discouraged! I’ve been there too…recently. Then I decided that I need to stop the comparing and just enjoy the work that comes my way. I’m not dependent on a photography business for a living, but I love it and am just going to have fun this year.

    Have a wonderful day and enjoy! ❀

    • Thanks Emily! πŸ™‚ I’m glad I’m not alone! There is sooo much to compare to out there. It’s easy to get discouraged and feel badly when it’s constantly offered in our view. Sometimes we need to take a step back and get back to why it made us happy and why we got started in the first place πŸ™‚

  2. Wow, this is exactly how I’ve been feeling today! I don’t have a professional Instagram page as I’m not really sure what I am (that’s a whole other issue!) but I seem to feel the need for it to become one! What was a way to share my love of taking photos and my home renovations, seems to have become an attempt to enter a popularity contest. I’ve been feeling like the uncool kid at school, watching all the popular girls having a laugh and not being able to get a look in. I’ve also become cynical as some people I find and think I’ve connected with and then they start plugging something or other and I realise it just some marketing tool for a business and I feel duped. I’m gong to take a leaf out of your book. Take a step back and do what feels right. Thank you for sharing. X

    • Thanks for stopping by, Becca! We all feel this way from time to time! Life is tough with constant comparison to others through social media, but it can be helpful and useful too. I’m still learning how to switch it off, or how to put my phone down when I’ve been scrolling too long. It’s about finding balance, which is so much easier said than done, so be gentle with yourself as you find your way πŸ™‚

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